The Voice Within

I try to keep a positive attitude and mindset when it comes to skating and my daily life, I truly do.  Though I know what is expected of me as a mom, a wife and as a skater.  Sometimes there is a "Voice Within" that says "what are you doing with yourself". Yes, skating is a tough sport, and at my age it's even harder.  Deep down inside I know that I can do it - but my body tells me otherwise. With just a little more practice and positive encouragement, eventually it will all fall into place.

There are days that I feel  a sense of disappointment and/or the "not good enough" syndrome  within myself no matter what I do, no matter how hard I try - is it worth it?  Some days are good days but then there are the bad days.  It's a challenge for me because I want to please everyone, then again feel a sense of guilt inside (voice) for doing what makes me happy (skating) but at what cost.  Should I listen to the "voice" or fight it - though its tough - just go with the flow?  Not sure if anyone else, feels the same, if you do, please share...

Though I am not quite sure if its a normal thing, just a mid-life crisis or just a "voice" in my head playing mind games with me or the war of "Good vs Evil". Maybe just making something out of nothing!  That voice within I call it "my drunken monkey" and its one of my affirmations..."Don't listen to your drunken monkey"

Some of the things he likes to say:

•  what am I doing?
•  is this actually worth it?
•  what are you trying to prove?
•  you're not good enough.
•  I can't do it.
•  Its over - don't you see.

The voice within surely is not my inner spirit talking to me (I hope). My spirit is strong by the grace of God. Surely, this is part of my "Journey" one of many challenges I have to face and overcome. However, there is one thing I can definitely say is "I will never give UP" the mind is a "powerful" thing but rest assure it will never break me down.

Life is Bigger Than Self !!

Think I Need New Boots/Blades

When is the right time to get new boots and blades? That is my question of the day...

I only had two pairs of skates throughout the years.  When I first started skating, had a pair of Reidells beginners, then my second pair that I skate in now are Jackson Elite with an MK Paramount blade.  I am really thinking about purchasing new boots and blade, however, studying the cost.

When is it time to upgrade? Also, which is the best "brand" ? I really like my Jackson's but my coach wants me to get "Harlick"  I've checked around and Harlick's are out of my pricing range.  I am leaning towards "SP Terri's" - my daughter Christina has SP Terri's and she loves them and they did not cost that much either.

I am working on single jumps right now level ISI 4/5.  What I noticed recently is that every time I do my flip jump my foot tends to move inside my boot.  Also, how would I know when its time to change my blades, I've seen those blades that are like a light pink and light blue - are those for "higher" level skaters? Probably...

The part that I am dreading is breaking in the boots - I remember when I got my Jacksons, I didn't even want to wear them.  When I was younger, I played softball, we use to rub some vasaline on my glove to soften the leather, well I applied the same concept to my skates and "whala" it worked!! Its true! breaking in new boots  really take a while and very painful...

June 22, 2012
A friend of mine had mentioned to me that Jackson's is having a 50% off on Jackson's skates. This the best news ever and I am definitely upgrading to their Jackson Elite model and upgrading blades but still debating weather to get Matrix Blades.  This is a lifetime investment and will be my last pair for now for a longtime.

It's hard to let go of the "Old", but the "New" is always better...

My USFS Test Pass or Retry

Its Sunday testing day, and yes I am testing USFS Adult Pre-Bronze MIF and Free Skate.  I can't believe this day is actually here, it seemed like yesterday when I decided to test (February 2012).

My fate is in the hands of  1 to 3 judges who took their Sunday to sit on a cold ice rink and watch me skate!!  My Judge was so nice and made me feel comfortable.  I did have 2 other skaters on the ice, though I manage to pull it through.   The best thing of it all is that your test will be marked Pass or Retry as opposed to Pass or Fail.   I don't like the word "Fail" because no matter how young or old you are it is embed in our mind to go out there and do our very best and "failure is not an option, its a "choice" so, to say "retry" is a sense of relief for a short period of time.  What it means is that you did your best, however, you have to go back practice and test again, these tests are a good thing because this will teach you the correct positions, form etc and also respect the sport that we love so much!!  In a good note this testing is for Adult Pre-Bronze only, however, Bronze, Silver and Gold level testing is based by a points system.

PASSED!!!

Test in order:
Moves In The Field Adult Pre-Bronze Level III:
Perimeter Stroking: to be skated both directions
Basic Edges:  R/L Forward Outside/Inside Edges
                      R/L Backward Outside/Inside Edges
Consecutive Crossovers: Forward and Backwards
Waltz Eight:  Skate a figure Eight on the Ice w/right and left outside 3 turns
Spirals: Right and Left inside edge spirals

Free Skate Adult Pre-Bronze Level III
Jumps: Two different jumps either one-half or one full revolution
Spins: 1. one foot upright spin (3 rev) 2. Two foot upright Spin (3 rev)
Steps: 1. Crossovers - forward and backward (either direction)
          2. Lunge or Spiral

Though the above required elements seem like a "piece of cake" not so!! much is involved than just doing the elements, you have to have correct position and arms when doing your edges, right count for your waltz eight, correct entry for your spins, strong knee bends when stroking/cross overs etc. OH! did I mention that with all of this my legs were like Jello literally!! I was so nervous that I couldn't stop shaking.  While I was skating my Free Skate warm-up I did a flip jump instead of a 1/2 flip, "big no no" I did do the1/2 flip on my test though.

Word of the wise: I practice all my edges on the hockey line, however, when it was my time to skate my edges, I was told to skate on the center of the ice, due to other skaters skating same time with  me.  Yes, there are no lines on the center of the ice, eeekkk!!! I glanced at my coach with a shocked face!! took a deep breath and imagined my axis in my mind and did it!! The waiting for the results felt like an eternity but took one glance at the bottom and "Passed" with that I received great reviews: good edges, great crossovers, and carriage flow, body extensions :)

The experience was overwhelming to say the least.  Next in my agenda is practice, practice so I can test Bronze hopefully by this Fall.  This is a true journey for me, never thought I could actually do this and here I am with one step at a time, patience and a positive attitude, you can achieve your goals & dreams!!

Thank you so much Central Florida Figure Skating Club and USFSA for this wonderful opportunity!!